HomeBlogUsing Apple Safari is Like Going On a Real Safari

Using Apple Safari is Like Going On a Real Safari. It's scary and dangerous.

Published November 5, 2009

Safari Sucks!
[Photo Credit: Safari Sucks]

My girlfriend and I love our Apple Macbooks. We're Mac fans. While most of my work gets done on Windows machines, most of my "fun" is on my Mac. Why? Because Apple software is excellent. It's streamlined, lightweight, powerful and reliable. With that said however, there is a huge problem in the Apple line of software. And that problem is Apple's internet browser software, "Safari". If you're a Mac user and have not had problems with Safari, cool! You're very lucky. And if you're Windows user who uses Safari, I'm going to have to say you're obviously some sort of crazy masochist who enjoys suffering.

Now, my girlfriend has started a new game that will hopefully catch on. I call it the "Whenever Safari Crashes, Write a Funny Story About Safari in the Crash Reporter -- Game". (//FIXME: Work on the title - AF.) She gets alot of practice at this game because, if you're like most of us, Safari crashes quite often. Here is her latest entry:


(This time I tried to work in 3 tabs all at once.)

Safari is aptly named, because each time I try to use it I feel as though I'm on an actual Safari, guarding my life on an unstable sand-colored vehicle circa 1983, constantly on the alert for what awful danger is lurking around the next turn. "What's that?" I think to myself. "Could that be a... spinning rainbow ball of DOOM?!" Just then, as if spotting a lion crouched in the sparse African brush, I feel my life functions slow and my adrenaline spike to an exciting high. After a few minutes of an almost agonizing stare-down between myself and the hungry rainbow lion, I realize there isn't room enough for the both of us. It's me or the ball. Without a moment's hesitation, I leap for my musket and fire the fatal "force quit" blow.  

Returning to the safety of my Mozilla Firefox browser, I ask myself... will I ever be foolish enough to travel back into the territory known as "Safari?" Only time will tell... 



Yeah, I know that nobody from Apple will read our little stories... but it's fun to vent and get creative with it anyway! Who's with me? I smell a new trend! #funnysafaricrashstories (//FIXME: Shorten the Twitter trend - AF.)

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Alex worked on several successful e-commerce websites before joining the RB team. He graduated from SUNY Purchase with a Bachelor's in Math & Computer Science.

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